"Snail's Pace Productions Pleasant Facade Estates The Bizzy Buddies

The Night Before Christmas humorous illustrated story featuring The Bizzy Buddies writer illustrator Vuja Day

SCENE 1
INT. HOUSE - AFTERNOON

CHERIE:\par oh speaking of sewage pipes, some guy from the US Attorney's office called earlier, something about your brother suing you for some sort of sewage pipes."\par \par TOMMY:\par How long ago did he call?!\par \par CHERIE:\par "Oh, uhm, about 7 oclock... yesterday..."\par \par TOMMY:\par Yesterday?! This guy called yesterday... and you aren't even telling me until now...?!"\par \par CHERIE:\par Uhm yeah, yesterday... or even the day before that. Earlier this week. He left a note with a card, but I don't know where I put them.\par \par TOMMY:\par Listen Cherie, when this faction says "jump", you gotta jump, and when they hand out a business card and say to call... they're expecting that call within hours... if not minutes. Timing is everything, girl!\par \par TAMMY:\par Don't talk to my daughter that way!\par \par TOMMY:\par What way?\par \par TAMMY:\par Demeaning her. Calling her "girl". \par \par CHERIE:\par (smugly)\par I am a young lady!\par \par TOMMY:\par Alright then, listen hear young lady...\par \par TAMMY:\par Don't talk to my daughter that way!\par \par Tammy shoves Tommy aside and then gets in Cherie's face, screaming.\par \par TAMMY:\par Listen hear/here young lady....!!!!\par \par Suddenly a car pulls into the driveway, and then engine screeching, he backs up out of the driveway, and causes an accident. Later this guy will be suing Tommy because it was HIS driveway where the accident occurred. Roland Gordon III, the LLC and financier whiz who masterminded the development of Pleasant Facade Estates will eventually move in to the neighborhood (he's waiting for his house to get finished) and he will be Tommy's attorney for the driveway case. the guy pulls into Tommy's driveway ... backs up and causes an accident. And he sues Tommy because it was his driveway where the accident took place. But Tommy had nothing to do with it, aside from the fact that it was his driveway where it occurred. \par \par --------------------------- TOMMY: you don't clean up the toothpaste spittle in your sink. TAMMY: It's my sink. You don't have to use it. TOMMY: But I have to look at it. TAMMY: It's not my job... it's the maid's. TOMMY: (somewhat patiently) But we don't have a maid. TAMMY: Precisely! And that's my point! TOMMY: What point? TAMMY: That we need a maid! TOMMY: (off camera)
(bellowing)
I sure hope you're
looking for a job!


BARLEY:
Actually, I have
something lined up
at the crystal shop.


TOMMY: (off camera)
"Enjoy it??! You're
not supposed to enjoy.
your job!



LITTLER:
!-- (meekly)
--> That's my rainbow

LEAZA:
(shuddering
in disgust)
This isn't rainbow
colored... this is a
yucky color!

Tommy is indignant because the google earth hasn't updated their satellite picture and it keeps showing this ramshackle mess, not the beautiful housing development.

a raccoon gets through the bathroom window. tammy/troy goes in there to use the bathroom... SCREAMS! Comes running out in fear.
TAMMY: There's a raccoon in there!!

Littler is screaming down the hall LITTLER: The toilet's overflowing Tammy and Tommy run into the bathroom. The water is the toilet is rising. Littler is screaming

The tub suddenly "blubs" and then water comes bubbling up through the tub... all nasty awful "water". Then Tammy starts screaming! -------------------------------------------

TAMMY REMODELING:

Tammy escapes by doing remodeling "projects". She went through so much money, Tommy had to fire the contractors and "do" the work HIMSELF! He rationalizes to himself: TOMMY: It's too hot! TOMMY: It's too cold! TOMMY: It's too late! TOMMY: It's too early! Nothing was getting done, Tammy losing patience. House is only partially liveable.

Tammy considers herself an Interior Designer. She is always doing remodeling projects (ie room renovations etc) There is always dust and sawdust at one part of their house or another. One day Tammy decides she wants window boxes with flowers on them. Tommy warned her not to... the structure ("facade" if you will) was not strong enough to support the window boxes. When he is out of town at an exterminator convention, she goes ahead and does the remodeling project ANYWAY (with Gary's ex-brother-in-law's roomate's friend). Tommy doesn't like the guy, and Tammy goes ahead behind Tommy's back and has the guy put in the very window boxes that Tommy warned her NOT to. And when he gets back home, she has remodeled the front of the house with a swiss chalet look and window boxes with tulips in them. \par TAMMY: Hi honey... notice anything new?\par OR\par Tammy is trying to stay "under the radar" and not have Tommy notice the new windowboxes.\par \par Littler tells her mom:\par \par LITTLER: Boy mom, dad sure is going to be mad at you.\par \par Suddenly Tammy realizes that she's going to be in trouble with Tommy, so she stops for a moment to reflect... then decides to divert Tommy's attention to the FRONT of the house.\par \par Tommy and Tammy talking on the phone.\par \par TOMMY: I'm coming in at 2:20.\par TAMMY: Uh... so soon?\par TOMMY: Why? What?\par TAMMY: No, I, uh... have a hair appointment, I can change it... uhm.e hou\par \par Tammy picks Tommy up at the airport, but it's still daylight and Tammy doesn't want Tommy to see the front of the house in daylight (she was hoping he'd be coming in at night). So after she picks him up from the airport.... she needs to keep him out and away from the house until dark.\par \par TOMMY: (groaning) Ugh... I'm bushed!\par \par TAMMY: No! Let's go to dinner/ let's go to a restaurant!\par \par TOMMY: Tammy I'm not hungry... I'm tired, I'm cold, I feel sick to my stomach... I do not want to be at a restaurant... I want to be at my own home, in my own bed, in my own pajamas. With a cup of grandma's/mom's homemade chicken soup\par \par Tammy keeps trying to divert Tommy's attention away from the front of the house. She actually manages for 3 days! He was feeling sick for the first few days, then when he went to work, she insisted on driving him, and picking him up in the garage with the car.\par \par TAMMY: I'll pick you up... in the garage.\par TOMMY: The garage? Why?\par TAMMY: So you don't have to go out in the cold.\par TOMMY: Cold? It's not so cold, it's like... 70 degrees.(about) The fresh air is good for me.\par TOMMY: I don't want the gas fumes in the garage.\par TAMMY: Then I'll push it out\par \par Then the day comes when Tommy notices the window boxes and he lets out this ungodly scream... and then the facade of the house starts to crumble at the window boxes. (if Tommy hadn't opened his big mouth and screamed, the crumbling wouldn't have happened. But it was shoddy workmanship, Tommy had been right, he had warned Tammy that the facade was NOT strong enough for window boxes, but she went ahead and did it anyway.\par \par Tammy is pouting. Tommy blows up.\par \par TOMMY: %&#*$ !!! Aa%&#*$ !!!ck! Augh! %&#*$ !!!\par \par \par hen \strike goes ahead and does it anyway.\par \strike0\par an, but she goes ahead an\par \par While Tommy is at the convention, he is complaining to someone about Tammy, all the remodeling she does (has someone ELSE do.../spends money on) and how he warned her not to do it, the facade wasn't strong enough. Plus, he didn't like the guy, a seedy-looking character.or the tattoo guy.\par \par TOMMY: (disgusted) I don't like this guy. He's got all these tattoos... covering his body. I hate tattoos. (Later on he and Troy go to get tattoos in "Grandma wants a Tattoo too!"\par \par \par \par MEANWHILE:\par \par Tammy is at home, talking to this seedy-contractor guy, having him do the window boxes before Tommy comes home. \par TAMMY: Oh, he'll like it... once he gets used to it.\par LITTLER: He will not, Mom. He told you that wall isn't strong enough.\par TAMMY: (feigning perplexedness/confusion) He said that? In those words?\par LITTLER: No, the actual words he used were %&#*$\par Tammy starts to feel a little panicky, like maybe Littler is right, even Leaza agrees with Littler/Leaza chiimes in too. Then Tammy is afrraid Tommy will freak out \par \par LEAZA: Well, he's been sick, so maybe you'll be lucky, he won't be able to yell so/as loud.\par (he's been sick), so she arranges to have him come home at night so he won't see the window boxes.\par Cilantra (thinking): I need to lay off/start laying off those Red Bulls... TOMMY: I wonder about that. TAMMY: That what? -------------------

Tommy arrives home to bulldozers and tractors in his yard and construction guys. Tammy greets him joyfully.
TAMMY: I thought I'd do a bit of remodeling while you were out of town a few days..
(Tommy is staring gaping mouthed in horror at the scene in his yard)
In defiance, Tammy chops the entire garden down.
Tommy comes back.
{lots of different ways for this to go: Tommy surprised, Tommy happy, Tommy doesn't notice... }
TOMMY: If I had my way I'd bulldoze it all and cement the whole thing over.

Tammy carries herself with an arrogant insecurity.insecure arrogance Tammy tries

They are having sewage/plumbing problems themselves, toilets are backing up, bathtub won't drain. Is it caused by Tammy's constant remodelings, or the frankenstein tree's roots, or is it relatiation from Troy about the sewer issue?\par \par \par TOMMY:\par And I'm angry that your stepmother planted that damn tree that's now choking my plumbing!\par \par

TOMMY: \par You have to be nice to your step-mother./mom. She's the only step-mother you'll ever have. (sotto breatho) Lord knows I'll never get married again after this!\par \par TOMMY:\par "She had no right to plant that tree... it's MY property!"\par \par TOMMY:\par I let her plant that tree when we first got married about 10 years ago... at our wedding ceremony. I hated that tree then and I hate it even worse now... and now it's choking the surrounding plumbing and uprooting the sewer lines, and it's going to cost thoussands of dollars to tear out.\par \par TOMMY:\par I hate that tree. It's a freak! It has /It's got two different grafts growing out of it."\par \par BARLEY:\par I think that's cool.\par \par TOMMY:\par It's not cool... it's a freak of nature! Nature is supposed to be very precise. Everytime I see it I'm reminded of how annoyed/ mad I am at/with your step-mother." how annoyed your stepmother made me with that tree.\par \par TOMMY:\par "That's a frankenstein tree! And now it's choking the plumbing!\par \par TOMMY:\par Last week an arborist gave me a quote of $3,000 to remove it! $3,000\par \par TOMMY:\par I said screw that, got some more estimates... and they were even MORE! I went back to the first cheap guy and he'd raised his price in 3 days.\par \par \strike TOMMY: \par You have to be nice to your step-mother./mom. She's the only step-mother you'll ever have. (sotto breatho) Lord knows I'll never get married again after this!\par \par Barley: "She's YOUR wife.\par \strike0\par TOMMY:\par Now I find out it's going to cost over $5000 to cut down and it's destroying the sewage pipes. Why can't it destroy Troy's sewage \strike pipes \strike0 instead".\par \par One ongoing disagreement is this tree that Tammy planted 10 years ago... Tommy never liked it... and now it's choking the plumbing and will cost over $10 to remove/repair\par \par My mom Tammy was a divorcee with a 6 year old daughter named Cherry when she met my dad. My dad was a young widower with a 5 year old boy. After they got married they had me and my little sister, Littler.\par \par My mom is an interior "designer" and immediately upon moving into my dad's house, she ordered a complete remodel. she does a complete remodel on the house. Major remodel... taking 3 times longer and 10 time more in $$$ than originally projected. Various contractors were fired or walked off the jobs. \par \par The house is under a constant state of remodeling and redecorating.\par \par Tammy plants a strange, 2-graft tree on the property, and Tommy allows it. He will eventually regret it when it starts choking the plumbing 10 years later. Privet trees... spreading like little monsters.\par

due to the sewer problems (from Tammy's trees) the plumbing system at Pleasant Facade Estates is all messed up!\par \pard\nowidctlpar\sa200\sl276\slmult1 Problems with the plumbing/sewer (because of Tammy's trees). The toilet starts to overflow, poor Littler is freaking out! AAAAck!!!!!!\par Tommy is yelling about the trees, he's going to have them cut down.\par the brothers are suing each other over the sewer system. Troy says it's on his land, Tommy says the system is on his land (Pleasant Fac\par It's leaking (sewage system)\par \pard\nowidctlpar\par TOMMY: I think I'm suffering from early onset midlife crisis.\par