HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATED STORIES

"God Almighty"

Despite what some people might believe, there IS a God and God created us in His image and likeness and God loves all of us... even the rotten ones! ▲

"Heaven Above"

Heaven is a great place to go... it's not hot as Hell. It has pearly gates and clouds and and rainbows and angels and best of all... God Almighty! ▲

"The Devil Himself"

The Devil Himself doesn't like anyone, including himself (with good reason). Don't be a friend of the Devil... 'cos he sure as hell ain't a friend of YOU! ▲

"Hell Below"

Hell Below is a very hot place... and NOT in a good way! Once you go there, you can't escape. The Devil's dog Cerebrus won't let you leave. ▲

"The Door Is Open..."

... And I'm Going Out The Window! ▲

"Loosen The Noose"

Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies. Forgiveness doesn't mean you 'forget'; it means you loosen the noose on your soul. ▲

"Free Will Ain't Free"

God Almighty gave us free will to make our own decisions. Was that even a very good decision for God to make? ▲

"Earth School"

Earth is a school. What kind of grades are YOU getting? No matter what, you'll probably do something ridiculously dumb and stupid. ▲

"The Lost Stars"

Who are we? Just a speck of dust in the galaxy. Are we all lost stars? Turn the page maybe we'll find a brand-new ending...▲

"All You Need Is Love"

All you need is love... and that starts by loving others. (ha! ha! much easier said than done) ▲

"Archie The Angel"

Archie the Angel is God's best buddy and loyal wingman (and/or woman). ▲

"Angel Beside Us"

We might think we're alone and unprotected in this crazy world, but there is always Archie the Angel watching over us... "Out THERE, not in HERE" ▲

"The Prime Directive"

The Angels can't interfere with Humans and their life's trajectory. Humans have to ask for help, but the Angels can't do everything for them. ▲

"Cerebrus The 3-Headed Dog"

The Devil Himself orders a specially-bred three-headed dog from an illegal puppy mill and he is in for a BIG surprise when the dog arrives! ▲

"The Entire Universe"

We egocentric humans might think we are the only beings in the Entire Universe, but surprise... we are NOT alone. And we're not the smartest either!▲

"Clouded By Emotion"

The Clouds Of Emotion follow Archie the Angel around the Universe. Sometimes humans get clouded by their emotions and drama ensues. ▲

"Cloud Of Happiness"

Cloud Nine is the cloud of happiness, the cloud we all aspire to be on. This is the highest vibration cloud. This is the cloud from which love evolves. ▲

"Cloud Of Surprise"

Aaack! Surprise can be a good surprise (like an unexpected gift) or it can be a bad surprise (like a visit from your mother-in-law). Take your pick... ▲

"Cloud Of Sadness"

Sadness is inevitable. We can't escape it. Sadness makes us appreciate the gladness in our lives. It all depends upon how you view it. ▲

"Cloud Of Fear"

Fear is a low-vibration energy. Fear attracts other low-vibration emotions like sadness and anger. Don't let fear control YOU. ▲

"Cloud Of Disgust"

This cloud appears when we smell a stinky stink or hear a gross joke or step in dog doodoo or see one of the Global eLeeks on TV. ▲

"Cloud Of Anger"

This is the lowest vibration of all the clouds. This cloud is the anti-thesis of Cloud Nine; it is the spawning ground for terrible emotions like hate. ▲

"A Fork In The Road"

We need to tune into the fork in the road... which direction will we take? Will it be left or right? God Almighty gave us the free will to make a choice. ▲

"Planet Earth"

God Almighty gave the Humans a little wobbly ball called Earth to live on. Let's hope they don't destroy it! Let's not take our precious planet for granted. ▲

"Mother Earth"

Mother Earth is getting sick and tired of being sick and tired of being taken for granted and treated like a big giant trash heap. ▲

"In God We Trust"

You'd better watch out, you'd better not pout, be grateful 'cos God Almighty is watching over you and hoping you don't abuse the gift of Free Will. ▲

"The Chakras"

The 7 main energy centers along the spine from the base of the body to the crown of the head that we need to keep balanced for health and harmony. ▲

"God I Feel Good"

A good life is a godly life, but sometimes that's easier said than done. There's no shame in asking for guidance from Heaven Above. ▲

"There's Magic In The Mundane"

Sometimes the best moments are smelling a flower, or watching a bird fly overhead or hearing a favorite song!

"Hell I Feel Great"

Taking the path of least resistance and instant gratification can feel great at the time, but there is ALWAYS a cost, and sometimes it's totally unaffordable! ▲

"All The Souls"

God can be compared to a cloud, and all the souls are the raindrops. Humans aren't even aware of how PRIVILEGED they are to be here on Earth. ▲

"Ghost Stories"

Okay... I get it. You don't believe in ghosts... until something paranormal happens to you and you try to rationalize it as your "imagination". ▲

"The Bohemian Graveyard"

These lunatics like to congregate in Leekville Cemetery and dance around a giant vulture effigy with sheets over their heads while eating pizza. ▲

"Weaving Spiders..."

The slogan of the Bohemian Graveyard lunatics is 'Weaving Spiders Don't Come Here' which means leave your baggage and gossip (and spiders) at home. ▲

"The Minervan Vulture"

The Minervan Vulture is a 40-foot vulture effigy that the lunatics at The Bohemian Graveyard like to dance around when the moon is full. ▲

"One Foot In The Grave"

Living life is like balancing on a tightrope and we are danging over the precipice! Just watch out which side you fall into...

"Reincarnation"

If you didn't learn your life lessons the first time around you'll have to repeat the same grade AGAIN! This is an earth school... don't flunk your assignments!

"The Rainbow Bridge"

Someday we will cross a rainbow bridge and see all our loved ones... even the beloved animals in our lives. You can count on that! ▲

"One Step Beyond"

A Squeegee Board is a piece of wood with a squeegee that lets you talk to the ghosts... better watch what you ask it!

"Butterflies From The Angels"

The Angels communicate with us through "signs"... the scent of a flower, a coin on the ground, a happy thought, a butterfly. Keep an open mind.

"Coins From Heaven"

Our departed loved ones sometimes send little reminders to let us know they're still around us. Don't be blind to those signs.

"The Life Review"

Uh oh... this is a 'movie' that God shows us where we not only get to see our life, but we feel the emotions we caused in other people... positive and negative.

"The Astral Travelers"

It's not a dream! It is an out-of-body experience where consciousness separates from the body to travel to different realms on the astral plane.

"The Akashic Records"

It is a spiritual database or "library" that stores every thought, emotion, word, and action from every soul across all lifetimes... a cosmic energetic field.

"The White Light"

Individuals who have nearly died say it's the 'light at the end of the tunnel' of life... don't go near it if you're not ready to meet your maker!

"The Silver Cord"

An energetic 'cord' connecting the physical body to the astral body or soul, often described as a lifeline, the connection between spirit and body.

"Alien Time Travelers"

The Alien Family from Outer Space wins a 'dream trip' to Planet Earth... but it turns out to be a NIGHTMARE!

"The Space Aliens"

Space Aliens are like humans... there are nice ones out there, and there are some mean ones. Let's hope that Planet Earth attracts the nice ones!

"Gifts From The Aliens"

The good Space Aliens have gifts of knowledge to bestow upon us. Will we be gracious enough to accept their gifts?

"What The Crop?!"

Mysterious crop circles crop up in the leek fields at Tuckus Family Farm. Unfortunately, they disappear before they can be properly documented.

"Outer Space"

Outer Space is far-out, way-out... as far away from Earth as possible.

"Galloping Galaxies"

The galaxies far, far away don't need (or want) a bunch of stupid humans coming over to them and trying to take over. What's going to happen next?

"The Reptilians"

No louche lounge lizards here... these Reptilian Aliens have control over the Alliuminati and the Global eLeeks.

"The Reptilian Brain"

"They" say reptile brains are smaller than human brains... but is that REALLY true? Hmmmmm....

"The Shape Shifters"

You see them shift before your eyes... your 'lying eyes' as 'they' would like you to believe. Please, you need to trust your instincts.

"The Adventures Of Supermom"

Bored with her routine as 'just' a 'housewife' and mother, Jane Tuckus puts her imagination to work and transcends the daily doldrums of life.

"Allium General Hospital STAT!"

Oscar Frankowitz views the hospital like a spa vacation, with pretty nurses and his favorite green jello. Oscar just loves hospital food!

"Grandma Wants A Tattoo Too"

The Battling Tuckus Twins have a brief truce and decide to get matching tattoos. Ma Tuckus has a fit until she meets the tattoo artist!

"Jake's Greatest Skate"

Jake Tuckus's arrogance and stupidity get the better of him when he shows off his skateboarding 'skills' and ends up going viral... AND into the hospital!

"Littler's Biz, Inc."

Littler has alot to learn about marketing and truth in advertising when she sells Japanese maple seedlings and gets a visit from the Better Business Bureau.

"Must Love Garlic"

Ma Tuckus has decided the time is right to find Mr. Wrong. Much to the chagrin of her adult children, Ma creates an online dating profile! ▲

"Pretzels In Bed"

Love means accepting the other person's idiosyncracies. Love means forgiving them for eating in bed and leaving crumbs everywhere. ▲

"The Rotten Apples"

Humans are like apples; there are shiny, healthy, good ones and nasty, rotten, worm-ridden ones. That's what happens when humans are given Free Will. ▲

"At A Snail's Pace"

Tommy Tuckus is a frantic Type-A morning person who absolutely does NOT understand his teenage son Barley who is a mellow Type-B night person.

"Something Stinks Here"

Type-B Barley is at odds with his Type-A father when Barley wants to start an organic compost business much to the chagrin of his money-driven dad.

"Troy Tuckus"

When Troy Tuckus inherits his half of Tuckus Family Farm, he works hard to keep the farm afloat, even in the face of modern life and impending 'progress'.

"Tommy Tuckus"

When Tommy Tuckus inherits his half of Tuckus Family Farm, he sells it to land developers who then mow it down to build a housing subdivision.

"The Battling Tuckus Twins"

Country-bumpkin Troy and his city-slicker fraternal twin brother Tommy have nothing in common except for their absolute disdain for one another.

"Behind The Curtain"

Who (or WHAT) is the power behind the Alliuminati and the Global eLeeks? It's time to pull back the curtain... you can smell them from miles away!

"The Nasty Masters"

Humans that worship money are in danger of giving away their power and free will to the Global eLeeks and the corrupt Politicians.

"Rules For Thee..."

Rules for thee.. but not me! (according to THEM) They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten veggies... the Global eLeeks!

"The Social Trapezoid"

Forget about being the cream at the top of 'The Social Pyramid'. Nowadays you want to be at the top of the heap on 'The Social TRAPezoid'!

"Down The Rabbit Hole"

The Global eLeeks make lots of 'promises' about climate and energy to the gullible public. If it sounds too good to be true... it probably ISN'T!

"The Alliuminati"

The upper crusty echelon of secret society... the Alliuminati is far more dangerous, obnoxious and STINKY than the infamous Illuminati!

"The Eye Of Improvidence"

You are being watched by the Reptilians... The Eye of Improvidence, depicted as a single eye within a trapezoid surrounded by a search light.

"Saul Fuhr III"

Saul Fuhr III, the richest trillionaire in the world, so stinky and mean he won't let his servants even LOOK at him... not that they'd even want to!

"Aleek The Leek"

This little sneaky weak leek is the snooty, snotty scion of the richest trillionaire in the world Saul Fuhr III and heir apparent to his father's evil legacy.

"The Power Plant"

Who (or WHAT) is in charge at the Power Plant? Little does the citizenry know... but they are being run by The Power Plant in more ways than one!

"The Global eLeeks"

These limp, soggy, overdone veggies are NOT elite. They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten leeks... the Global eLeeks!

"Count Gruesome"

Forget about his countstituents! Count Gruesome cares only about his oily coiffed hair and designer socks and power and money and BLOOD!

"The Puppet Master"

Ironically enough... a stinky, rotten fetid garlic bulb is in charge of grooming a sleazy, oily vampire to become leader of the wanna-be soon-to-not-be free world.

"The Deep Steak"

The Deep Steak is a ruthless herd of meat-heads charged with protecting the reputation of political figure-heads like Count Gruesome.

"County Ultra Security Surveillance CUSS"

The County Uber Security Surveillance (CUSS) is waiting, watching and working alongside The Deep Steak to keep an EYE on YOU!!!

"The Development Party"

The Development Party supports growing business and tourism in Allium County. Their focus is making money... lots of money... for THEMSELVES!

"The Ecology Party"

The Ecology Party supports farming and climate sustainable practices. They have good intentions to protect Planet Earth but are somewhat gullible.

"Senator Dick Tate's Campaign"

Senator Dick Tate's re-election strategy is rife with corruption and intrigue while he makes a disastrous campaign whistle-stop in Allium County.

"F.E.C.E.S."

How much cream at the top of the federal coffers is flushed down the toilet at the Federal Energy Commission of Environmental Studies?

"The Great Reboot"

The limp, rotten Global eLeeks attending the World Turd Form (WTF) are proponents of the The Great Reboot to support the New World Disorder.

"The Boulderfella Family"

These bottom-feeders inherited their fast-food fortune through acquisition of burger joints like "Build-A-Burger" and other various nefarious investments.

"The New World Disorder"

The New World Disorder is promoted by the World Turd Form to create a corrupt, totalitarian, one-world government that strips individual liberties.

"Der Potatokopf"

Billionaire Der Potatokopf started the World Turd Forum to galvanize the Global eLeeks into promoting the New World Disorder and The Great Reboot.

"World Turd Forum WTF"

Every year the Global eLeeks meet at the World Turd Forum, an international 'stink-tank' sharing ideas to turn the world into a big giant turd.

"You Will Own Nothing"

You will own nothing... no house, no car, no privacy. You will be free from responsibility. You will be taken care of. You won't have to think for yourself.

"Let Them Eat Cake!"

As long as it's full of high-fructose corn syrup, canola oil, partially hydrogenated fats, red dye #3, potassium bromate, MSG, BHA, BHT, nitrites, nitrates...

"The World's Best Protein"

The Global eLeeks are busy buying up all the farmland so they can create a food shortage and then kill all the bugs to make BUG PROTEIN for the masses!

"World Health and Tyranny"

The WHAT directs health emergency responses, promotes healthier lives and aims to ensure the highest level of health for all Global eLeeks.

"Obaaaaay...!"

You will follow orders. You have no free will. You must do as we tell you. We are weak stupid vegetables but we have more money and influence than you.

"Ovis Virus"

A new dread disease, the Ovis virus, escapes from a scientific laboratory and its affliction causes the sufferer to bleat like a sheep instead of talk.

"Ovis Vaccine"

The cure for the Ovis virus is a vaccine made from the urine of sheep that eat leeks. The main drawback... it makes the sufferer smell like an old barnyard!

"Either Ur IN or Ur OUT!"

Everyone is required to get the Ovis vaccine. No one's quite sure what exactly is in that syringe but the main ingredient is sheep urine!

"Vile Evil Devil"

Saul Fuhr III doesn't believe in God Almighty, but he sure does believe in the Devil Himself and ascribes to the bastardization of power.

"The Scales Of Injustice"

There is no such thing as the Scales of Justice in this political world when the Scales of Injustice is far more profitable (according to the Global eLeeks)

"Senator Dick Tate"

Senator Dick Tate is like a dog being trained with promises of money and power. He is being curried by the Global eLeeks to win the future election!

"The Senator's New Clothes"

Senator Dick Tate uses tax-payer money (of course) and hires Tatu the tattoo artist to design his campaign wardrobe with disastrous results!

"The Shadow Government"

The Reptilians in the Shadow Government lurk behind the curtains of power, whispering into the ears of the corrupt politicians and Global eLeeks.

"The UN-United Nations"

This inter-governmental organization is 'supposed' to maintain global peace, security, cooperation, protect human rights and prevent conflict.

"The NGOs - Non Good Organizations"

Focusing on human rights, climate and health, NGOs are "non-profits" receiving government funding and run by cream-at-the-top siphoning "professionals".

"WikiLeeks"

Tweet! Tweet! Let's blow some whistles on the fraud and corruption pertaining to government officials and their unsavory co-horts in Allium County.

"The Sword Of Damocles"

The ever-present peril hanging overhead by a thread... the constant threat of disaster and financial ruin that accompanies those wielding power.

"Knowledge Is Power"

Ignorance is NOT bliss when you use your free will indiscriminately and apathetically, letting the Global eLeeks take your power away from you.

"The Poison Ivy League Universities"

Harvard, Yale and Princeton cannot even compete with the esteemed 'Leaves of Three' institutions of the Poison Ivy League university system.

"Hardturd University"

Hardturd University far eclipses Harvard University with its storied and stellar alumni roster who have joined political ranks within the Global eLeeks.

"Porcupine Club"

The Porcupine Club is the most historic and elite social club at Hardturd University. Its Latin slogan is "Dum Vivimus Vivamus"

"The Pasty Pudding Club"

At each meeting of this collegiate social club, the members eat a porridge made from molasses and cornmeal that tastes like wallpaper paste.

"The Scarlet Square"

The Scarlet Square is an illustrious and prestigious network of Hardturd alumni members who have infiltrated the upper echelons of the Alliuminati.

"The Scarlet Hardturds"

The Scarlet Hardturds is the name of the college sports teams at Hardturd University. Its sports rivals are the Stale University "Bullfrogs".

"Stale University"

Yale University is like a kindergarten compared to the demands and rigors of other Poison Ivy League schools, most notably Hardturd University.

"Alpha Beta Pie Fraternity"

This long-standing fraternity is at the top of the Stale University social heap. Members like to lie around playing video games and ordering pizza pies.

"Bulb And Bones Society"

This secret society has spawned members in the highest echelons of the Alliuminati, the World Turd Forum and other sycophants in the political venue.

"Stale Bullfrogs"

Go Bullfrogs! Even with their notoriously bad badminton team, these Stale Bullfrogs can rip apart the Yale Bulldogs sports teams any day!

"Princess University"

Forget about Princeton... Princess University is the ultimate elite party school for pouty and pampered pretentious princes and princesses.

"Poison Ivy Club"

This eating club appeals more to the gourmands than the gourmets who attend Princess University. Only the least discerning palates are invited.

"University Cottage Cheese Club"

Only the most epicurean gourmand can withstand the gastronomic rigors that membership in this exclusive eating and debating club entails.

"Princess Tiger Cubs"

Oooh! Ouch! Ow! The lily-livered Tiger Cubs are babies when it comes to the rigors and disciplines of the team sports Princess University is famous for.

"Bug-Ex, Inc."

Bug-hater Tommy Tuckus has to hire bug exterminators so often, he decides to BUY the bug-exterminator company when the owner retires.

"Cookin' The Books"

It's getting hot in the kitchen at The Leaning Tower of Pizza... and it's not just pizzas being cooked! ▲

"The Money Laundromat"

How can you have a clean conscience if you don't even have a conscience to begin with? Many members of the Global eLeeks have very 'clean' money.

"Bulls And Bears"

Will the bulls butt the bears or versa vice? Who knows which way the wind blows and where the money flows on Fall Street.

"The Nasquack Index"

The Nasquack Index tracks the laughing-stock exchange and measures performance of commerce, media, and technology sectors on Fall Street.

"The Stocks Are Stacked"

Integrity is so passé. Unless you are one of the Global eLeeks, the Fall Street Laughing Stock Exchange is stacked against the ordinary honest investor.

"Insecurities Exchange Commission"

This entity supposedly protects investors, enforces securities laws, ensures fair markets and financial disclosure to the public.

"The Lap Of Luxury"

Pretentious DeeDee Duncan just HAS to buy a hideously expensive purse from Ateliér Mércury. The money spent for it doesn't come from HER pocket though...

"Fiat Digital Economy"

A Fiat Digital Currency is a distrusted medium of exchange, or illegal tender, that is is backed by a storehouse of Fiat sportscars impounded at Fort Knoxious.

"Fort Knoxious"

The place where all the impounded Fiat sports cars, whose diminishing value back up our economy, are kept. Full of dented old cars and noxious gas fumes.

"The Criminal Preserve"

The central bank maintains national financial instability, providing monetary services for the government to the detriment of the tax-paying populace.

"Curse Of The Leek Diamond"

Leekville lore has it that the Leek Diamond has an evil curse on it, and whoever has ever worn it... terrible things have happened to them!

"In Gold We Trust"

To some people, the only god is GOLD. Money and power are more important than love and kindness. This makes the Devil Himself happy.

"The Golden Sheep"

Forget about worshipping the Golden Calf... go to the Leekville Bank and worship at the altar of the Golden Sheep (for a hefty admission price).

"The Greedy Little Mermaid"

Allium County Aquarium hires a Mermaid as the star attraction to boost tourism. The pirate's treasure chest starts to shrink... but HERS doesn't!

"The Luck O' The Leek"

The WHAT (World Health & Tyranny) wants to make money from misery and offers leek farmer Troy Tuckus an offer he can't refuse... or can he?

"Cryptic Currency"

Cryptic currency is a Fiat digital currency used for electronic payments or as a store of value. Scarcity can influence value.

"Cointrace"

Cointrace is a user-friendly cryptic currency exchange and custodian that allows users to securely buy, sell and store digital assets.

"Cryptic Currency Wallets"

Software or hardware tools used to store private keys and manage cryptic currency transactions. They can be offline or online-based wallets.

"The Schlockchain"

Invented by Satoshi Quasimodo as a distributed ledger technology storing data across a network of computers (nodes) rather than a central server.

"Satoshi Quasimodo"

Satoshi Quasimodo invented the very first schlockchain, but no one knows where, or WHO, the mysterious Satoshi Quasimodo really is...

"The Spitcoin Schlockchain"

A rule-based protocol enforced by thousands of nodes on various synchronized computers worldwide, with info stored on unchangeable schlocks stacked upon each other.

"Spitcoin (SPT)"

Spitcoin is a decentralized, digital currency that operates without a central bank or government, using a peer-to-peer network and a public ledger called the schlockchain to track ownership. ▲

"Efeareum Schlockchain"

Decentralized schlockchain that records and supports Efear (EFF) cryptic currency transactions and semi-smart contracts chronologically and publicly.

"Efear (EFF)"

The native cryptic currency and money system of the Efeareum platform is called Efear, which is abbreviated as EFF.

"What Are Semi-Smart Contracts?"

Unchangeable and public transactions or agreements written in a special language that are deployed on the schlockchain and don't need to be verified by banks or expensive lawyers.

"The Allium Schlockchain"

This was developed by child-prodigy Cosmo Szabo to utilize TakaLeek Tokens as the native cryptic currency to play online games like TakaLeek. ▲

"TakaLeek Tokens (TLT)"

Taka Leek Tokens (TLT) are digitally transferable assets representing a monetary value that is issued on the Allium schlockchain. ▲

"TakaLeek Game"

TakaLeek Game is a schlockchain-based cooking game that allows the user to virtually cook leeks in a variety of recipes and dishes. ▲

"What Are DUM Contracts?"

Changeable and corruptible public transactions or agreements written in a special language that are deployed on the Allium schlockchain only.

"DApps vs. CRApps"

DApps are decentralized applications deployed on the schlockchain while the erstwhile CRApps are the centralized, regional applications. ▲

"Define DeFi"

Decentralized Finance (DeFi) is the sclockchain-based technology allowing cryptic currency transactions without a nosey, money-grubbing bank. ▲

"What Is ASICK Hardware?"

Specialized, one-function hardware designed for a specific task (cryptic currency mining) rather than general-purpose computing.

"Cloud Mining"

A method for mining cryptic currencies by renting computing power from remote data centers rather than owning or managing the hardware directly.

"Null Fungible Tokens (NFTs)"

It is a cryptographic token or digital art which represents something of null (absolutely zero) value and is bought (and re-sold) on the schlockchain.

"Fun Fungi NFTs"

These are some of the first NFTs; digital pictures depicting an assortment of fungi variants that can be purchased on the schlockchain.

"CrypticKitties NFTs"

CrypticKitties are digital collectible NFTs tht allow users to "purchase, breed and sell" unique virtual "cats".

"Monster Mash NFTs"

Monster Mash NFTs feature unique cryptographic digital images of virtual monsters that can be bought, sold, bred, eaten (or be eaten by).

"TakaLeek NFTs"

TakaLeek NFTs are digital collectible depictions of leeks that allow users to virtually 'purchase, grow, propagate and sell' unique leeks.

"Fear Uncertainty Doubt (FUD)"

A manipulation tactic used in cryptic currency investing to cause panic in the market, thus creating doubt about an asset or project's stability.

"Rugged!"

Burpee Slush pulls the rug on investors when it hops on the NFT marketing bandwagon, featuring cryptographic images of 'rock star' Joey Rainbow.

"Rekd!"

Cosmo Szabo and Jake Tuckus join forces investing in the NFT market, but get 'rekd' when its valuation goes far farther south than north!

"HODL"

Ma Tuckus' adult children collectively fear for their future inheritances when Ma invests in CrypticKitties NFTs and refuses to sell them.

"The Deepest Darkest Web"

Beware of what lurks below on the 'Deepest Darkest Web', a virus-ridden jungle of online hodge-podge and hackers and weird stuff to buy. ▲

"The LOR Browser"

The 'unhackable' LOR Browser (Layered Onion Router) was developed to allow the user to anonomously surf the Deepest Darkest Web. ▲

"Tending The Server Farm"

Child-prodigy programmer Cosmo Szabo is running a covert server farm on a rural property to mine TakaLeek Tokens on the Allium schlockchain. ▲

"A.I. Own You"

Eack time you download an app or make an online purchase many eyes will be watching you and all your info will go into the 'great database in the sky'. ▲

"Reboot The Robot"

Artificial Intelligence gets REAL when 'Reboot the Robot' gets into the picture. The future looks blindingly bright... or else dismally dim. ▲

"Damn The Dam!"

The NIMDYs living in Pleasant Façade Estates stand blindly behind damming Leek Lake so they can water their expensive landscaping.

"Global Warning"

The sun is sick and tired of being vilified as the 'villain' who is going to raise the Earth's temperature and kill everyone and everything on it.

"Moon Madness"

Old Man Moon is very annoyed and insulted that humans associate him with nutty people who go crazy when the moon is full.

"Allium County"

Allium County is considered Ground Zero for leek agriculture. The best leeks in the world are grown here in fertile soil enriched with lots of sheep urine.

"The Allium County Visitors Bureau"

Allium County is a world-class, mouth-watering and eye-watering tourist destination where the most sulphury onions, garlic and leeks are grown!

"Leekville"

Leekville is a formerly sleepy little town in Allium County that has mushroomed in growth since being crowned the "Leek Growing Capital Of The World"!

"The Leekville Legacy"

To fully appreciate the hot gossip about the residents who reside in Leekville, you need to know the back-story (and back-stabbing) behind the scenes! ▲

"World Famous Leek Icecream"

This is one icecream that'll make you scream! A once-in-a-lifetime taste treat, because once you have it, you'll never want to have it again! ▲

"The Allium County Fair"

The Allium County Fair is an annual community event showcasing the best (and the worst) of the local agricultural products, livestock, arts, and culture. ▲

"The Annual Leek Festival"

This much-heralded event happens only once a year (thank God!) and features costumes, carnival rides, a parade and the crowning of Miss Leek! ▲

"Miss Leek"

There will be lots of tears and mascara running along with squeals of glee when some lucky gal is crowned Miss Leek at the Annual Leek Festival. ▲

"Leaza Goes To Follywood"

In lieu of graduating high school, Leaza Tuckus opts instead to go to Follywood to become a 'star'. Unfortunately her mother follows her there...

"Curse Of The Medusa"

'C-List' actress Leaza Tuckus is offered the starring femme fatale role in 'Curse of the Medusa'. Her agent fails to inform her that her co-stars are LIVE snakes!

"The Hot Flashes"

Middle-aged 'hot mom' Tammy Tuckus follows her daughter to Follywood and ends up fronting heavy-menstrual hair band 'The Hot Flashes'.

"Extreme Unction - The Group"

The 4-letter word that begins with 'F' is 'Fame'. Maybe it's better to be unknown for the right reasons than to be known for the wrong reasons.

"The Free RATicals"

The 'Free RATicals'... they are toxic and trashy, the band everyone loves to hate. They perform in costume, with giant RAT HEADS!

"The Blue Tongue Heroes"

Burpee Slush Inc. hopes to cultivate the consumer market of slack-jawed gamers and basement dwellers by offering 'The Free RATicals' an advertising contract.

"Pleasant Façade Estates"

An upscale paradise! Half the farmland in Allium County is mowed down to make way for this posh subdivision of hoity-toity McMansions. ▲

"Let's Paint The House Orange"

Tammy Tuckus embarks on yet another one of her insufferable and expensive remodeling projects and wants to paint the entire house ORANGE! ▲

"The Homeowners Association"

The members of the Pleasant Façade Estates HOA are a busybody bunch of wacked-out weaklings who flock like birds to seek power in groups. ▲

"Noah And The HOA"

Nerves are fraught and tempers are hot when the Pleasant Façade Estates Home Owners Association fines Noah for building an ark in his own yard! ▲

"NIMDY (Not In My Damn Yard)"

The NIMDYs are a sanctimonious bunch who support any trendy cause that doesn't cause THEM inconvenience or cost them time or money.

"Leekville Mall"

The billionaire Boulderfella Family, who owns the Leekville Mall, are getting desperate for tenants because everyone is moving out due to high rents!

"66 Flavors Icecream"

66 Flavors Icecream boasts a treat-filled menu that will fulfill your gastronomic dreams... featuring Allium County's much-heralded 'Leek Icecream'!

"Build-A-Burger"

Test your intestinal fortitude... made-to-order customized burgers. Try saurkraut or peanut butter or even chocolate on your burgers (or all 3 together!)

"Burpee Slush"

Burpee Slush Inc. is featuring 'rock star' Joey Rainbow in their ad campaign, much to the chagrin (and intense jealousy) of his fellow bandmates.

"The Leaning Tower Of Pizza"

This pizza joint has been hit with several class-action lawsuits related to health department issues and also complaints about money laundering.

"Marie Antoinette's Cakes & Pastries"

You'll lose your head over these yummy, gooey rich French pastries and special-occasion cakes that revolutionize what high-end desserts are all about!

"The Knives Of Damocles"

Talk about a very pointed purchase incentive... this high-end cutlery shop displays its inventory of sharp knives dangling from the ceiling of the store!

"L'Ateliér Mércüry"

Move over Hermès... don't overlook this over-the-top, over-priced and over-hyped mall shop where a cheap scarf costs more than a car!

"Tatu's Tattoos"

Tatu can do any tattoo! Whatever design you desire. No request is too weird for Tatu to do. Take advantage of the two-for-one bogo deals.

"Tootsie's Toy Store"

Every kid will find every kind of toy that's imaginable. What a fun place to be! For young and old. Bring lotsa money$$!!

"Pandora's Box"

Your eyes will cross and your mouth will foam when you see all the mannequins draped in the finest undulating undies of Allium County.

"Bijou's Jewels"

Gorgeous jewelry awaits you and your wallet! Loan officers are on staff to help you refinance your home to buy a lousy necklace that's price-inflated 500x.

"Broken Record Music"

This store serves as ground zero for illustrious bands as The Free RATicals. Music instruments, vinyl and all kinds of musical resources are at your disposal.

"The Vapid Vapor"

These vapors will make every vaper vapid. Witness the world's biggest hookah. Must be 18 or over. Must sign a psychiatric waiver to enter.

"The Whine Bar"

Belly up to the bar and whine about how miserable you are and we guarantee you'll feel ALOT worse tomorrow morning!

"Dragon Lady Nails & Beauty"

Professional beauty consultants on staff. You'll look like a million bucks after you shell out about a million bucks to get the talons of your dreams!

"The Gamey Gamers"

Attention slack-jawed gamers of Allium County... good hygiene and good manners are not a prerequisite to hang out at this video hang-out. Just money.

"Leekville Electronics"

Every electric gadget can be found here. You can plug in, turn on, tune in and tune out. Everything to help you achieve your electronic ecstasy.

"Nature's Crystals"

Rock hounds abound at this emporium of beautiful stones, crystals and semi precious gems. Oooh and ahhh at the beauty bestowed by Mother Earth!

"Purdy's Pets"

Enter at your own risk. A cacophonous melange of barking, howling, hissing and screeching mammals, reptiles and water creatures awaits you!

"Grosstein's Groceries"

High-end marketing with low-end quality... and yet this one-stop grocery shop will still feed your needs. Empty your wallet and fill your belly!

"The Dollar Laundromat"

After you wear the fancy clothes from L'Ateliér Mércüry you can wash them at The Dollar Laundromat... along with any other "dirty money" you might have.

"The Allium County Aquarium"

This natural habitat tourist destination falls prey to water quality issues stemming from the damming of Leek Lake and Leek Creek.

"Aquarium Board Of Directors Scandal"

The board is infiltrated by an abnormal number of members of the Development Party, who want to boost tourism and incoming dollars (for themselves).

"The Mighty Mitochondria"

They are tiny but mighty... mitochondria are the 'energy centers' of every cell.

"The Befuddled Brain"

The human brain... such a wonderful organ that is so under-utilized and mis-used and abused.

"The Beautiful Bladder"

Your bladder holds pee. As your bladder fills with pee, it expands like a balloon. When it fills with pee, nerves in your bladder tell your brain to use the toilet.

"The Gallant Gallbladder"

They are tiny but mighty... mitochondria are the 'energy centers' of every cell.

"The Hearty Heart"

They are tiny but mighty... mitochondria are the 'energy centers' of every cell.

"The Lively Liver"

The liver filters the blood in the body and breaks down toxins. The liver also produces bile that helps digest fats and carry away waste.

"The Petite Pituitary"

Despite its tiny size, the pituitary is known as the "master gland' that regulates many other hormone-producing glands in the body.

"The Mighty Mitochondria"

They are tiny but mighty... mitochondria are the 'energy centers' of every cell.

"The Mighty Mitochondria"

They are tiny but mighty... mitochondria are the 'energy centers' of every cell.

"The Mighty Mitochondria"

They are tiny but mighty... mitochondria are the 'energy centers' of every cell.

"An Alligator On The Farm"

A pampered pet needs to 'beware' when he suddenly finds himself out of his element and is dependent upon the kindness of strangers.

"The Bird Brains"

Birds are fascinating and beautiful creatures, but they can be downright nasty too! After all, they are descended from dinosaurs...

"The Ding-A-Ling Bros Family Circus"

The 'Ding-A-Ling Bros Family Circus' is coming to town with its cast of crazy characters! Hopefully it will also be leaving town soon too!

"Covered In Cats"

Ma Tuckus is nowhere to be found. No one knows where Ma Tuckus is, until they find her at home in bed... covered in cats!

"The Cat Whisperer"

Ma Tuckus is finding it harder to live on her own, and that means she needs help caring for her huge menagerie of cats, especially her pampered pet Pierre.

"Noah's Ark"

The NIMDYs living in Pleasant Façade Estates are getting nervous about Noah and his ark construction project and his dire weather reports...

"The Garden Of Eatin' "

Thunder clouds abound when the Home Owners Association gets complaints about residents' yards destroyed by the animals escaping from Bizzyland Zoo.

"Horatio The Hen-Pecked Hubby"

Poor Horatio the rooster... he is such a bumbler! He can never seem to do anything right! When he crows in the morning, no one even wakes up!

"The Aesthetically Challenged Duckling"

An over-worked stork accidentally delivers the wrong egg to the wrong nest! This is a Bizzy Buddies adaption of 'The Ugly Duckling'.

"A Mess In The Nest"

Boris the Bird injures his leg and can't fend for himself. His parents feed and shelter him 'temporarily' until temporary threatens to becomes permanent!

"Peter Cottontail's Midlife Crisis"

Peter Cottontail fears people love Santa and Christmas more than they love the Easter Bunny and Easter. His former confidence plunges into self-doubt.

"Timmy Gets A Pet"

All the other kids in Pleasant Façade Estates have pets. Timmy Tuckus tries convincing his highly-allergic dad to let him have a pet too.

"The Uptown Cheetah"

Chas the Cheetah is the only (and lonely) cheetah at Bizzyland Zoo until he accidentally escapes and finds a lady who he thinks is his 'long-lost' mother!

"Whatta Catastrophe!"

Ma Tuckus is getting frustrated and angered by her three adult children and threatens to leave everything in her will to her cat Pierre.

"The Grandpa Tree"

The old apple tree was planted 100 years ago by Old Man Tuckus, sitting on the property line between The Battling Tuckus Twins adjoining lots.

"That Doggone Dogwood!"

The Pleasant Façade Estates HOA wants to rip out the offending dogwood tree they think is responsible for destroying the sub-division's sewer lines!

"The Three Tree Brothers"

The infamous Three Tree Brothers are the tallest trees at Leek Lake National Park and are heavily featured on the postcards sold in the souvenir shop.

"A Wrinkle In Slime"

Littler and her brother Timmy travel through space and slime to rescue their father from a cosmic evil called IT on planet Earth.

"Lord Of The Things"

Timmy Tuckus' version details hobbit robot Freddo Baggage's quest to destroy the source of evil power, the One Thing, in the fires of Mount Gloom.

"Eye Of Moron"

This symbol of the Dark Lord Moron's willful malice and surveillance, a 'window into nothingness... like a gamer gazing into a video monitor.

"Mount Gloom"

Mount Doom is a volcano in The Lord of the Things, the location where the Dark Lord Moron forged the evil One Thing and the only place it can be destroyed.

"The Ant And The Grasshopper"

The lazy, self-indulgent Grasshopper sings and dances his way through summer while the Ant busily prepares for winter.

"Charlotte's Website"

Charlotte the spider tries to influence farmer Troy Tuckus from slaughtering Wilbur the pig by praising the porker with messages on her website.

"CinderLittler"

Poor little Littler is forced to do chores and wear her half-sister's hand-me-downs in Timmy Tuckus' retelling of the tale of Cinderella.

"Jake And The Beanstalk"

A farm boy trades his family's cow for magic jelly beans, which grow into a giant beanstalk leading to an angry giant's castle in the clouds.

"Littler Lox And The Three Bears"

The tables are turned when the Three Bears intrude on the Humans... breaking their furniture, eating their bagels and lox and sleeping in their beds!

"The Littler Mermaid"

Timmy Tuckus rewrites this bedtime story for his little sister Littler where a girl trades her voice to become a mermaid at the Allium County Aquarium.

"The Littler Of Oz"

Timmy regales his little sister Littler with his version of 'The Wizard of Oz' complete with the Witch, Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion... and the RUBY SLIPPERS!

"The Littler Princess"

A knock-off of 'The Little Prince'. A stranded traveler meets a Princess from another galaxy, featuring creatures like The Snake and The Baobab Tree.

"Littler Red Riding Hood"

Littler is on a trek to GrandMa Tuckus' house and is followed by a hungry wolf when he learns that Littler's GrandMa has FORTY-TWO CATS!

"Peter Cottontail And The Snail"

The classic story 'The Hare and the Tortoise' is updated Bizzy Buddy style. Peter Cottontail is pitted against Turbo the Snail in a long-distance race...

"Rip Van Barley"

Sixteen-year old Barley doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning... especially when his dad is screaming at him to get a job!

"The Three Littler Pigs"

Timmy revises this bedtime story for his little sister. Three general contractor pigs get visited by a wolf from the Allium County Building And Safety Dept.

"Chicken Littler"

Panic is rampant and everyone's emotions run amok when Hannah the Hen is convinced the sky is falling and the world is going to end!

"The Boy Who Cried SHEEP!"

Drama mongering troublemaker Jake Tuckus likes to lie about little things, so when something big happens, no one even believes him.

"The Town Rat & The Country Rat"

The Battling Tuckus Twins are like 'The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse' fable. Tommy is the city slicker while his brother Troy is the country bumpkin.

"A Christmas Carol"

Dickens is rolling in his grave, and maybe not with laughter. A greedy old codger is visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve...

"A Christmas Story"

Timmy wants a slingshot for Christmas but his mom fears he'll knock his teeth out. Story features the tongue freezing to the pole, the leg lamp, etc...

"It's A Terrible Life"

On Christmas Eve Archie the Angel shows gregariously greedy Tommy Tuckus what life would be like if he had never been born...

"The Grouch Who Stole Christmas"

This greedy grouch is a real penny-pinching grinch. He won't give anyone else presents but he expects presents from THEM!

"Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is so cute and loveable... how could all of the other reindeer be such bullies to him?! Featuring Santa, the Snowman et al.

"Frosty The Snowman"

Frosty the Snowman was a happy jolly soul with his corncob pipe and his button nose. No wonder everyone's sad when he melts away.

"The Christmas Trilogy Part One"

Holiday tempers run high when the Battling Tuckus Brothers refuse to celebrate the annual family pre-Christmas Eve dinner together!

"The Christmas Trilogy Part Two"

The classic Christmas story (complete with Santa and Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer) gets a modern twist with the Bizzy Buddies characters!

"The Christmas Trilogy Part Three"

December 25 is here... the presents have been opened, the carols have been sung, and now it's time for Ma Tuckus to arrive with dessert!

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