"Behind The Curtain"
COUNT GRUESOME
Snail's Pace Productions LLC
Humorous Illustrated Stories
Featuring The Bizzy Buddies ®
Three ironic things to mention... first of all, Count Gruesome CAN'T count. Despite having attended (and been kicked out of) three different Poison Ivy League universities, he can't even add 2+2.
The second ironic thing to mention... this idiot vampire puppet is controlled by a GARLIC BULB! Aren't vampires supposed to be repelled by garlic? He is being groomed by the Alliuminati to "take over the world" on their behalf.
Thirdly, this thirsty vampire doesn't have to worry about anyone driving a Deep Steak through his heart... he doesn't even HAVE a heart. And this meat-eating maniac likes his steak cooked rare... BLOODY rare!
Count Gruesome funds his political campaign by sucking the blood money of the various nefarious members of the infamously rich Boulderfella Family.
Count Gruesome is very stylish when he shows up to speak at the World Turd Forum wearing his fancy, expensive designer socks. He is heralded by the Global eLeeks as heir (and HAIR) apparent to be the next world "leader".
Mayhem erupts when Count Gruesome empties a secret campaign coffer to fund the erection of a statue at Leekville City Hall... of HIMSELF!
Der Potatokopf is one of the cretinous members of the Alliuminati, whose members hide Behind The Curtain of "power". ➔
Count Gruesome is too concerned with his fancy designer socks to notice that he's just a puppet, being coiffed and groomed by the Alliuminati, to seize control of the world on THEIR behalf.
God Almighty gave Human Beings the gift of Free Will and we abuse it by worshipping money and giving our power away to the Alliuminati and the Global eLeeks and other various political trolls. ➔
"The Nasty Masters"
Humans who worship money are in danger of giving away their power and free will to the Global eLeeks and the corrupt Politicians.
The Nasty Masters →
"Rules For Thee..."
Rules for thee.. but not me! (according to THEM) They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten veggies... the Global eLeeks!
Rules For Thee... →
"The Social Trapezoid"
Forget about being the cream at the top of 'The Social Pyramid'. Nowadays you want to be at the top of the heap on 'The Social TRAPezoid'!
The Social Trapezoid →
"Down The Rabbit Hole"
The Global eLeeks make lots of 'promises' about climate and energy to the gullible public. If it sounds too good to be true... it probably ISN'T!
Down The Rabbit Hole →
"The Alliuminati"
The upper crusty echelon of secret society... the Alliuminati is far more dangerous, obnoxious and STINKY than the infamous Illuminati!
The Alliuminati →
"The Eye Of Improvidence"
You are being watched by the Reptilians... The Eye of Improvidence, depicted as a single eye within a trapezoid surrounded by a prison search light.
The Eye Of Improvidence →
"Saul Fuhr III"
Saul Fuhr III, the richest gazillionaire in the world, so stinky and mean he won't let his servants even LOOK at him... not that they'd even want to!
Saul Fuhr III →
"Aleek The Leek"
This little sneaky weak geeky leek is the snooty, snotty scion of the richest gazillionaire in the world Saul Fuhr III and heir apparent to his father's evil legacy.
Aleek The Leek →
"Der Potatokopf"
Billionaire Der Potatokopf started the World Turd Forum to galvanize the Global eLeeks into promoting the New World Disorder and The Great Reboot.
Der Potatokopf →
"The Boulderfella Family"
These bottom-feeders inherited their fast-food fortune through acquisition of burger joints like "Build-A-Burger" and other various nefarious investments.
The Boulderfella Family →
"The Power Plant"
Who (or WHAT) is in charge at the Power Plant? Little does the citizenry know... but they are being run by The Power Plant in more ways than one!
The Power Plant →
"Count Gruesome"
Forget about his countstituents! Count Gruesome cares only about his oily coiffed hair and designer socks and power and money and BLOOD!
Count Gruesome →
"Senator Dick Tate"
Senator Dick Tate is like a dog being trained with promises of money and power. He is being curried by the Global eLeeks to win the future election!
Senator Dick Tate →
"The Global eLeeks"
These limp, soggy, overdone veggies are NOT elite. They are no better than anyone else. They're rotten leeks... the Global eLeeks!
The Global Eleeks →
"The Puppet Master"
Ironically enough... a stinky, rotten fetid garlic bulb is in charge of grooming a sleazy, oily vampire to become leader of the wanna-be soon-to-not-be free world.
The Puppet Master →
"Tales From The Cryptocracy"
A cryptocracy is a government where secret leaders hold the power. The public leaders aren't in control; the true decision-makers are hidden.
Tales From The Cryptocracy →
"The Plant Kingdom"
Plants are mean, selfish and vicious creatures... only out for themselves. Everyone of them thinks THEY are the one and only KING!
The Plant Kingdom →
"The Deep Steak"
The Deep Steak is a ruthless herd of meat-heads charged with protecting the reputation of political figure-heads like Count Gruesome.
The Deep Steak →
"County Ultra Security Surveillance CUSS"
The County Uber Security Surveillance (CUSS) is waiting, watching and working alongside The Deep Steak to keep an EYE on YOU!!!
County Ultra Security Surveillance CUSS →
"The Shadow Government"
The Reptilians in the Shadow Government lurk behind the curtains of power, whispering into the ears of the corrupt politicians and Global eLeeks.
The Shadow Government →
"The UN-United Nations"
This inter-governmental organization is 'supposed' to maintain global peace, security, cooperation, protect human rights and prevent conflict.
The UN-United Nations →
"The NGOs - Non Good Organizations"
Focusing on human rights, climate and health, NGOs are "non-profits" receiving government funding and run by cream-at-the-top siphoning "professionals".
The NGOs No Good Organizations →
"Skeletons In The Closet"
Let's open the doors and find all the piles of skeletons hiding in the closets of the Global Eleeks and the politicians.
Skeletons In The Closet →
"The Scales Of Injustice"
There is no such thing as the Scales of Justice in this political world when the Scales of Injustice is far more profitable (according to the Global eLeeks)
The Scales Of Injustice →
"The Development Party"
The Development Party supports growing business and tourism in Allium County. Their focus is making money... lots of money... for THEMSELVES!
The Development Party →
"The Ecology Party"
The Ecology Party supports farming and climate sustainable practices. They have good intentions to protect Planet Earth but are somewhat gullible.
The Ecology Party →
"Senator Dick Tate's Campaign"
Senator Dick Tate's re-election strategy is rife with corruption and intrigue while he makes a disastrous campaign whistle-stop in Allium County.
Senator Dick Tate's Campaign →
"F.E.C.E.S."
How much cream at the top of the federal coffers is flushed down the toilet at the Federal Energy Commission of Environmental Studies?
F.E.C.E.S. →
"World Turd Forum WTF"
Every year the Global eLeeks meet at the World Turd Forum, an international 'stink-tank' sharing ideas to turn the world into a big giant turd.
World Turd Forum WTF →
"You Will Own Nothing"
You will own nothing... no house, no car, no privacy. You will be free from responsibility. You will be taken care of. You won't have to think for yourself.
You Will Own Nothing →
"The Great Reboot"
The limp, rotten Global eLeeks attending the World Turd Form (WTF) are proponents of the The Great Reboot to support the New World Disorder.
The Great Reboot →
"The New World Disorder"
The New World Disorder is promoted by the World Turd Form to create a corrupt, totalitarian, one-world government that strips individual liberties.
The New World Disorder →
"Let Them Eat Cake!"
As long as it's full of high-fructose corn syrup, canola oil, partially hydrogenated fats, red dye #3, potassium bromate, MSG, BHA, BHT, nitrites, nitrates...
Let Them Eat Cake! →
"The World's Best Protein"
The Global eLeeks are busy buying up all the farmland so they can create a food shortage and then kill all the bugs to make BUG PROTEIN for the masses!
The World's Best Protein →
"World Health and Tyranny"
The WHAT directs health emergency responses, promotes healthier lives and aims to ensure the highest level of health for all Global eLeeks.
World Health And Tyranny WHAT →
"Obaaaaay...!"
You will follow orders. You have no free will. You must do as we tell you. We are weak stupid vegetables but we have more money and influence than you.
Obaaaaay...! →
"The Ovis Virus"
A new dread disease, the Ovis virus, escapes from a scientific laboratory and its affliction causes the sufferer to bleat like a sheep instead of talk.
Ovis Virus →
"The Ovis Vaccine"
The cure for the Ovis virus is a vaccine made from the urine of sheep that eat leeks. The main drawback... it makes the sufferer smell like an old barnyard!
The Ovis Vaccine →
"Either Ur IN or Ur OUT!"
Everyone is required to get the Ovis vaccine. No one's quite sure what exactly is in that syringe but the main ingredient is sheep urine!
Either UrIN or UrOUT! →
"The Senator's New Clothes"
Senator Dick Tate uses tax-payer money (of course) and hires Tatu the tattoo artist to design his campaign wardrobe with disastrous results!
The Senator's New Clothes →
"WikiLeeks"
Tweet! Tweet! Let's blow some whistles on the fraud and corruption pertaining to government officials and their unsavory co-horts in Allium County.
WikiLeeks →
"The Sword Of Damocles"
The ever-present peril hanging overhead by a thread... the constant threat of disaster and financial ruin that accompanies those wielding power.
The Sword Of Damocles →
"Knowledge Is Power"
Ignorance is NOT bliss when you use your free will indiscriminately and apathetically, letting the Global eLeeks take your power away from you.
Knowledge Is Power →
"The Poison Ivy League Universities"
